Home Is In Your Eyes
by emilyhotchnerforever
Summary: The walls she built began crumbling down, truth and reality started to dawn on her rational mind and stubbornly irrational heart. She has to let him go, though she never had him to begin with. She never had, she never will. How would she initiate the process of moving on from Aaron Hotchner?
1. The Realization

_**Home is in your eyes**_

Note:

I do not have any idea or any sorts of prior knowledge about profiling and also I do not really know how law enforcement works, I was merely inspired by my favorite show, criminal minds and television show character, Emily Prentiss, both unfortunately owned by cbs. I just hope you will read my story and enjoy. I would like to say, it's my first story ever. And I'm not good at writing, but it would make me more than happy if people read this. I'm sorry if the characters are kind of out of character, I did try my best. And if some parts aren't canon, like the triathlon that would be because every part in which Beth was seen or mentioned, I forwarded or skipped. I don't like her. Sorry. And Emily's new team members were the guys I like from different Television Shows.

_**"What an immense power over the life is the power of possessing distinct aims. The voice, the dress, the look, the very motion of a person, define and alter when he or she begins to live for a reason."**_

_**Elizabeth Stuart Phelps**_

She worked for the CIA for years, she was a FBI agent and profiler, and a daughter of an ambassador for goodness sakes she should be a good at compartmentalizing. Hell, she was practically raised in this life where everything she did was under scrutiny and all she could do was compartmentalize. But at this very moment, she couldn't take it anymore.

When she was nearly killed by Ian Doyle a couple of months ago when he stabbed her in the gut with a wooden table leg, she was sent into hiding to protect herself. All those months of looking over her shoulders and the only people who knew she was still alive were Aaron Hotchner and Jennifer Jareau. It was as if she was living in a never-ending nightmare. When finally, after months of waiting, the team solved the case involving Ian Doyle and they discovered she was still alive, the way they treated her hadn't really been the same. She didn't really blame them, she kept her involvement to Doyle from them because it was classified and she didn't want them to be caught in the crossfire, but despite of her good intentions, these actions caused the others to think she didn't trust them, which wasn't true, by the way.

She merely did those things out of love, and if it would keep her family safe, she wouldn't hesitate to do it again. She explained to them her reasons and at the same time did everything she could to gain their trust again, when it seemed like she already got her life back, something happened, which made her realized that happy endings probably weren't meant for her. She woke up one morning, feeling happy and was full of hope that this day would be the best for she finally decided to tell him her well-kept feelings and undying love.

To confess to Aaron Hotchner that he's the one man that could make her heart flutter like a little girl's and the one guy that's became the reason the she still believes in fairytales and happy ever after. Her always stoic and professional boss who seemed to be always wrapped up in his own world and didn't really let anyone in , managed to have taken her heart and held it hostage. She went to work, and learned the news that broke her heart.

He met a woman at the park whom he seemed to be very attracted to. Hearing him talk about her and seeing his emotion changed as he describe her, crushed her heart. Couple of days later, the day of the triathlon came, when he reached the finished line, he went straight to that woman he was currently dating and just walked passed her as if she wasn't there.

"Is it just me or does anyone else within this awesome and magnificent group of ours, thinks that the woman standing rather close to our fearless leader and his son super Jack, seems a little off?" Penelope asked

"She does have this weird vibe coming off of her, baby girl, but maybe that's just me comparing you to other lovely women I see, who just happens to come, not even close to that high standards and hot body of yours" Derek replied

"Her hair looks awful" Jj added

"My hot blonde mama, you are totally right, It does look, what's the other word for 'awful'? Nothing? Anyone? Okay then I shall settle for awful, though I'm pretty sure there is another word for it, something that matches her hair anyway. Ooohhhhhhhhh! That spa we wanted to go to, we can go there now since your hunk is with my ever lovely Godson in your hunk's hometown! Gumdrop, are you hearing this brilliant idea?"

"Oh? What?"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I'm not feeling well, but you guys have fun, but YOU. Dave, Spencer and Derek, don't have too much of it"

"But, fun follows me around, Emily." Dave jokingly replied

"And I'm a hot honeys magnet"

"A what?" Spencer asked, Rather confused with the turn of the conversation which was currently unfolding right before him.

"We will tell you when you are old enough".

She really didn't have anyone to vent her feelings to, probably because almost all of her friends work with the same guy, that same guy who in his part may have unintentionally broke her heart into quadrillion pieces, but that doesn't change the fact, that she is no longer sure if she still have enough water level in her body to even stand up, which was a result of her crying fest that happened for hours she no longer remembers how many.

They were working on a case involving a series of robberies and murders, during the course of the investigation, they discovered a lot of things and tons of life changing events occurred. She was nearly blown up, twice. Clyde Easter helped with the case and at the same time offered her a job of leading her own team in Interpol London. Jj decided to get married after she and Will, her boyfriend, nearly died that day, the ceremony was organized by her wonderful surrogate father and close friend David Rossi. The place was absolutely amazing and breath-taking. At the ceremony, he saw him came in with his son and his new girlfriend, looking all happy and carefree, and she almost cried. Of course, she wanted him to be happy, after all the things he had been through, he deserved to be.

His divorce, the New York bombing, him being attacked by Foyet who was a serial killer, his ex wife dying in the hands of the same serial killer and becoming an instant single father he certainly deserved the happiness, she just thought it would be with her.

"So, are you gonna accept the offer?" Derek Morgan asked her

"I am, and it's not about you guys, I love you all, you should know that. It's just, I need a change, I thought buying a house would do it, well it didn't" she explained

"Emily Prentiss, I know you are keeping something from me, tell me about it… It's about him, isn't it?"

"How did you- you know what, never mind. You are right, It's about him, ok?"

"What is bothering you?"

"Hmmm?"

"You have got that 'I still have a problem, but I don't want anyone to know because I don't want to appear weak in front of them' look. Come on tell me, I'm your best friend."

"Why her?"

"What do you mean?"

"I have been working with him, for what? Six years?! Derek, he still calls me by my last name, I can even count the times he called me by my first name with the fingers in my one hand! I wanna be happy for him, believe me I tried. But I have loved him for years, maybe ever since he worked for my mother a couple of years back. I tried to be there for him, to support him, to be that woman he would want to be with. It still wasn't enough and now he met a woman, at a park of all places, and suddenly they are together?! I just want to understand why he would choose a woman he just met and barely knew anything about, over me, a woman he had known and worked with for years….. I wanna know what was wrong with me. Seeing him tonight with her, seeing Penelope and Jj be with the men they loved even Dave was here with Strauss, you and Reid are happily dating….and…. I'm here, all alone with nothing but a cat. I know, I have you, guys. But you have your own lives to live and I have mine. And in mine, I'm alone. I guess, that being in London, accepting this job would give me the opportunity to grow and move on, be able to find someone to spend my life with" she explained and fought hard to not let the tears fall but she failed miserably and Derek hugged her close.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Emily. You are a wonderful and incredible woman. If Hotch can't see that, then he is blind and pretty stupid for a profiler he claims to be." Emily laughed at that.

"I guess I'm the stupid one, to think that he would even have the same feelings for me"

"You are not stupid, Emily. Don't even say or think about being like that, for you are much greater than you give yourself a credit for. If you really want that change, a chance to have that fresh start and move on… I'll support you, in every way I can. But you have to promise me something"

"What?"

"You won't cut us off your life. You will still call, and let us check up on you. You can have that change, but you don't have to completely forget about your past. We are here for you."

"Of course, do something for me too?"

"What?"

"Don't tell the others why, I don't want them to feel guilty for being happy for Hotch. I don't want to leave that kind of burden, you know. Please?"

"I can do that, for you, and only you. What should I tell them?"

"The truth, I suppose. Just not the part about Hotch." "Sure" Thanks, Derek".


	2. The Start Of The New Begginning

The events of the night went on fast, nevertheless she remembered everything about it, including the feelings she felt. The mixture of happiness and sadness she felt when she danced with every member of their team. Though probably the most unforgettable of it all, would be how every fiber of her being had been engulfed by the mixed emotions of great longing, contentment and love.

It was as if she no longer wants to let go, because finally the man who has been a part of her every dream and fallacious notion is now holding her hand and is closer to her than he had ever been before. The dance she shared with Hotch, was perfect.

However, she knew, that all of it was temporary, a borrowed moment, and an illusion that would end a lot sooner than what she would have wanted.

He belongs to someone else.

He belongs to another woman

And that woman's not her

When he let go of her hand, moved away and went back to dance with his girlfriend, it had hurt so bad she felt like she was suffocating, as if she was being dragged down to the pits of darkness and will soon be losing herself. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't even see straight. She couldn't have a meltdown because she suffered a broken heart.

She had to get out of here, so she hurriedly left the party. On that night, she felt like she just died, a part of her did die, and she will never be the same.

Derek followed her. "How are you feeling?" he asked,

"What are you doing here? Following me much? That is somewhat stalkerish. Should I be worried?" she tried to joke but Derek just stood there and stared at her

"I just needed to get away. I can't stay there, not with him around"

"So, what is gonna happen now?"

"I'm gonna call Clyde, maybe my father and uncle, so that they could fix my transfer"

"Your father and uncle?" "Huh… looks like I forgot to mention….my uh father is the director of CIA and my uncle is the director of FBI, they might be able to help make the transfer faster."

"Well, That, I didn't expect" and they both laughed at that.

"So, why do you need their help for that?" he asked her,

"I don't want him to know. At least, not until lm gone. He would want to know why; you know how he is, quite nosy. I can't just lie to him, never made a decent one enough to convince him, I don't really have the intention to try it now"

"How long will it take?"

"A week give or take"

"That fast?!"

"I have got a lot of connections, Derek."

"Sorry, I forgot"

"I don't even know what I'm gonna do without you guys"

"You do know we are gonna miss you, right?"

"I'm gonna miss you all too"

"You should tell them yourself, its better they it hear from you than they hear it from other people. It would be better"

"You are right; I should do that, but not now. Jj just got married I don't want to ruin it".

"Do you think if I had been a curator, he'd choose me?"

"What?"

"If I had been out jogging that day? If I had joined the triathlon too? If I hadn't been as bruised and broken as I am, would he have chosen me? Would it be that's become the reason he smiles? Would it be me that he's gonna feel safe with? Would he have- would he have loved me?

"Emily—"

"I'm just wondering….. I guess I - I just, I don't know"

"Maybe, maybe not"

"Derek-"

"He could have, He would have.. We won't know for sure. But what matters and what you gotta keep in mind is, that we love you. I love you. Remember that and you'll always be perfect as you were before as you are now. You're you, Emily."

"Thank you, Derek. Thank you so much."

Days passed and she was ready to leave. Her papers had already been processed, her passports had been renewed and her bags are already packed, all she had to do now was say goodbye.

_**Author's Note:**_

Sorry for the delay… Life has been busy… THANK YOU VERY MUCH to everyone who read my first story! THANK YOU! I would also like to say that English isn't my first language, but it is my favorite subject Please keep on reading and review


	3. The Goodbyes

It hadn't been easy to gather up the courage to leave her family, biological or not, same blood may not be running through their veins, but this is her family. Nothing is gonna change that.

They decided to go to a bar; of course, Hotch declined and went home early instead, maybe to get home early to be with Beth? She really didn't want to know why especially if the reason was the obvious one. She stole one last glance at him as she prepared her bag to head out. At the bar, she was nervous but she knew better than to back out now, there was no turning back.

"Guys, I need to tell you something important" as she said those Penelope Garcia looked scared as did Jj, Spencer Reid looked confused, David Rossi looked worried and Derek prepared himself for their reactions.

"I accepted Clyde's offer, I got transferred to Interpol London and I'm ready to leave"

Emily said, each word made her broken heart crumble a little bit more

"What?! NO!NO!NO! Gumdrop, please tell us you are joking! Please!" Penelope said her eyes started to fill with tears

"I'm sorry, but it's the truth. I hope that you all understand that this isn't about either one of you"

"Then what?! What is about?!" Spencer snapped at her.

He loved Emily like his own mother, the one person that understands him and loves him despite of himself. And the thought of loosing her again made him angry and scared at the same time.

"I needed a change, I am far too broken and damaged to just go on and pretend like nothing happened. I need a fresh start to find my perspective"

"You don't have to go, Emily. We can help you. We will be here to support you. We're your family" Jj insisted.

Emily was like her older sister and someone she looked up to.

"You are. That's why I'm telling you this rather than have you find out tomorrow morning, rather than leaving without saying goodbye. But I need to this on my own. I have to take this leap. I won't stop calling, you can still tell me about your problems and ask for advice. You can still tell me that Kevin has been bugging you about something, that Derek met some other girl at a club, that Spencer found a new book and won't stop blabbering about it, that Henry broke another one of your home appliances, or that Dave met wife number four, possibly Strauss. I actually need to know these things, because being away from you guys, is a torture. That's what gonna keep me sane, know that I will always love you. I will still call whenever I need someone to cheer me up and make me feel safe, which would be everyday.

But for now, despite of this being so hard, I need to do this, and I need you to know that if there was another choice, I would take it in a heartbeat." Emily practically begged for their approvals and understanding.

"Does Hotch know? Surely he would have been here if he had known" Dave asked,

"No, he doesn't. Yet. But he will find the letter of my transfer on his desk first thing in the morning"

"When is your flight?"

"Around 2 am"

"So soon!"

"I would have told you, but I don't wanna distract you from the case"

"Emily-"

"Please. Can we not cry? People are gonna start asking what the hell did you do to me, and I'm gonna say you're filling a custody battle and is threatening to take Sergio away from me. I need to stay strong, and it won't happen if you guys keep on crying. Spence, you said Lila called you out of the blue and wanted to meet, mind telling us that?"

They all agreed, as much as they hated what was happening they couldn't let Emily leave thinking they hate her, not her decision itself.

They spent the next few hours revisiting their memories with her. Laughers flowed in the air, teasing resulted in guffawed noise and tears streamed down, falling on the floor they were once occupying.

She gave them her number, told them she would call as soon as she landed and asked them to call her back, and not to hesitate to ask for help, if they needed one .When they got to the airport, no one can no longer hide their emotions, finally letting it go, they all cried.

They hugged her and said their goodbyes one last time.

Nobody wants to go to work after what happened but knowing that an UNSUB doesn't really give a damn about what they're feeling, they're left with no alternative other than to come in.

Before they arrived at the office, each of them received a message from Emily saying she reached London and told them to take care of themselves. Leave it to Emily Prentiss to be their mother hen, the one to worry and take care of them. Distance and time be damned, it cannot break the love they would always have for each other.

_**Author's note:**_

I have know idea how long it takes to reach London, so forgive me for the mistake. This story had been written last year for my English class assignment. When our teacher told us to write a story, this is what first came into my mind. I started writing it almost immediately even though it wasn't due until a week or two.

My original plan was to start the story from the first episode Emily was introduced back in season two, but our teacher said, it can't be hand written and It was like 5 papers back to back, being only in the part where Emily told him she hated politics, so I changed my mind and started with the finale.

So point is, this story is done, just needed some editing, so if you guys wanna see some things, please review. It would bring me joy and early birthday Present, really early considering the fact that my birthday is on October thirty first. Hehehehehehe! Thank you for those who reviewed, followed and added this story to their favorites! Oh and we don't have regular internet access, so that's a factor that affects the time I can update this story.

Can anyone please tell me if you know anymore sites where I can read more hotly fics, and if you guys know hotly fics that aren't put under the category of Hotch and Emily, please let me know. and also fanfics in which there is a love triangle between Emily, hotch and another team member. Please, thank you!


	4. A New Day Starts with Revelations

"Emily!" Clyde called out at her

"Hey, Clyde!"

"How was your flight, Darling?"

"Its fine"

"What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

'I hate profilers!' she thought. He always had been able to read her like an open book. "I don't even know it myself. But I will be, just need to adjust" she reassured him.

They arrived at Interpol London. It wasn't anything new to Emily for this wasn't really her first time to work for an agency.

Clyde introduced her to her new team members. "Em, these are your new teammates: Tony Dinozzo, Eric Delko, Ryan Wolfe and Nick Stokes."

"Nice to meet you, Ma'am" Nick said

"Please don't call me ma'am makes me sound like a really old woman. Call me Emily or Em, whichever you're comfortable at. No last names, had enough of them to last a lifetime," Emily said.

"Ok, nice to meet you Emily"

"Thanks"

"You can call me Tony if you want, I don't mind" Tony said in a slightly flirty tone.

"Don't worry about him; we tend to ignore him, most of the time. Hi, I'm Ryan" Ryan said,

"I'm Eric, and Ryan is right. Tony is always like that especially to lovely women, like your self, we can show you your new office," Eric said.

"Lead the way" 'Yeah, this is a new start' Emily thought to herself.

Back at the BAU

"Montana. Three weeks ago, they found the body of a 16 year old boy, throat slit. No Witness, No prints, the boy was reported missing by his grandfather. He said he hadn't seen his grandson for about two days, got worried and reported it, the next day they found his body.

A week later, another boy, this time an 18 year old, throat slit just like the first one. Him too, was reported by his parents, they said that their son went to a party, never came back, a day after they reported him missing, a local LEO found his body at a local shop parking lot, and early this week another body.

Chris Joyner, only son of Christian and Elsa Joyner. Same MO, no prints, no DNA, no witness and body was found a day after his parents reported him missing, just like the others" Jj said.

"Not much for a cooling off period" Reid said.

"Same victimology, young boys. Ages ranged from 16-18, brunette all from middle class family" Rossi added

"The dumpsites are not consistent, first one was at a local park, next was at a local shop parking lot and the latest victim was found at a forest terrain often frequented by campers." Derek said while looking at the crime scene reports.

"Kids were always killed a day after they were reported missing" Jj said from her sit next to David Rossi

"We need to know why the UNSUB is choosing this particular victims, there would be more than just hair color and social status" Reid added.

"We also need to know the significance of the dumpsites." Derek said

"Wheels up in 30" Hotch said before he got up and exited the conference room.

"He didn't even ask about Emily!" Derek said as he collected the crime scene photos.

"Maybe he hadn't seen the letter yet and assumed she was just late " Jj answered.

"He could at least one of us where she is!"

"Why are you so bothered about this?! She is gone! She left us!" Reid snapped at him

"Why?! Because she is our friend! I would like to think that the reason she left, would have at least look for her. But guessed what?! He didn't!" Derek didn't even realize that the words left his mouth until he saw the faces of his team members.

"What do you mean?" Penelope asked

"Nothing" Derek tried to dismiss them "No! You can't just drop something like that and expect for us to just let it go. Claiming it was nothing when obviously it was something! Tell us!" Jj shouted back at him.

"Lower your voice" Derek tried to stop her.

"No! I won't lower my voice until you tell us why!"

"She is love with him!"


	5. After The Revelation

They were all dumbfounded by the revelation of Derek. Something like this is so important, surely their friend Emily will them about this, will she not?

"What are you talking about?" Penelope asked.

"We can't talk about it here. Let's just focus on the case" Derek said as he walked out of the room.

The agents tried so hard to concentrate on the case. The case itself bothered them, add to that Derek's earlier revelation, they were stumped. The day passed, and now was late at night when everyone was supposed to be asleep, Penelope called in for a meeting in her room.

"So, now would be a good time to tell us what the hell you meant that gumdrop has feelings for bossman. Tell Us Now. Or I swear with all the power given to me by my babies, I would make your life a living H-E-L-L." Penelope said to Derek, but before he could answer, Emily called Penelope's phone.

"Hey, Gumdrop! Yeah we are all okay. Uhhhh nope?! Yeah!? Fine! You know lets just make a video call or a call or a video thingy or something or anything or something or a thing? Let me just get my laptop. We have something very important to talk about. Capiche?"

"Oh hey guys! How are you? I have been gone less than a week but I already miss you!" Emily said.

"What's the matter?" She asked as soon as she saw the look on their faces.

"Is it true?" Rossi asked

"Is what true? Guys, you are acting up pretty creepy, are you high or something? Reid, did you give them dairy, I told you too much of it is bad!"

"You have feelings for Hotch?"

"What are you-"

"Do you?"

"How did you-"

"I'm sorry, Em. I didn't mean to"

"Just answer it" Jj demanded.

"Yes, it's true. I do have feelings for him. Nevertheless, everything I told you why I had to go was also the truth. I just didn't tell you the part of that reason of it, which was Hotch. I can't expect you to understand, but it's really, really hard. Seeing him be with her, it was just… I needed to get away. Please don't be mad"

"We could have helped you. You didn't have to go away. Why didn't you tell us?" Reid asked.

"You were all happy for him. You were all ecstatic and he was your friend too. I didn't want you to be not happy for him just because you feel guilty about my feelings. Tell, me that you won't try to tell me that it isn't me, that he feels the same way, he just needs a little push. But the point is, guys, he doesn't care, I mean not in the way that I would have wanted him to, and I can't him make him feel something he doesn't feel. "

Silence filled the room.

"He didn't even ask about me, did he?"

"No. Maybe he was just wrapped up around the case," Rossi said.

"You do know that is not the truth, right? You don't have to spare my feelings. I just miss you all right now. I don't want to talk about him. So, what is your case?"

"Don't you have your own job?" Derek asked,

"I am not due to start till Monday. So will you now please tell me about your case?"

They told her about the case and faxed her some of data they had gathered so far. They could really use her help in this case; they just hit a dead end.

_**Author's note:**_

Sorry for the delay, school has been busy. So guys, do you still want me to continue the story?


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